I m back on track
On this page, I’m probably going to piss off some spiritual gurus, religious people, and anyone who follows a social script or likes picking sides. These are human experiences that don’t come from a book — they’re insights I climbed toward and felt in specific moments. I’m just sharing them with you down below.”
Worst both worlds
There are two dominant worlds: hookup culture and purity culture. But what if you’re trying to serve God, or live according to a deeper sense of self? What if you want to wait for the right person, or do nothing at all, or simply follow what feels right for you? It’s important to meet your own needs. Otherwise, you can end up with someone you don’t even like, or making a choice you don’t truly stand behind.
So: go get a massage, go to a spa with your friends, use toys — you know what I mean. And my personal favorite: spend time in nature.
Whatever your needs are, meet them. Gently, without shame, and without faking love out of guilt or obligation.
How to have discernment
This is difficult to master. When you try too hard to function by “doing the right thing,” not making mistakes, or avoiding anything made by children in a sweatshop, you end up overwhelmed or harming your nervous system. Instead of forcing yourself to be perfectly disciplined, adopt the mindset that meeting your own needs makes it easier to make good choices. Don’t make everything your responsibility—especially not other people’s behavior or decisions that don’t align with your values. You are human. So keep it simple, take small steps, and don’t set huge goals you can’t fulfill. Just start with small shifts by trusting your body and listening to your intuition. Sometimes it won’t make sense. Think of it as raising a child—you are a single mother or father, and it’s your duty to take care of your child. Through that metaphor, it starts to work. Because if you had a child who had been through a bad experience, you wouldn’t yell at them or shame them, but comfort them, love them, and meet their needs. By doing that for yourself, you show up as the parent you may never have had.
My own bias around gender
I am very sensitive to this. I am always afraid of somehow de-masculinizing a man, even though I’ve had experiences where men appreciated that I cared about things that are unusual. But for some reason, it’s still in my system. I now have this motivation to challenge myself and go against harmful norms like this. Because if I want to attract good men who feel comfortable in their masculinity, I need to face my own biases. That means doing the opposite of what I’ve been taught and training myself to make it enjoyable. For example: I take my bike and follow my instincts about where to go. And I try to have real conversations with men about this. Because if they want me to ask questions to understand them, why wouldn’t you do that for others too?