“Unlearning Attraction”

Welcome to this page, where we unravel the complexity of attraction and explore how to let go of biases and unhealthy patterns. My blog is raw, honest, and shares the truth about my personal journey, without sugarcoating anything. Let’s discover together what it means to redefine attraction.

What I Learned

I realized that we all have biases against our own gender and sexuality. It’s very interesting because I was sitting at a table with a group of guys, and we were talking about men who were harassed by women — how they had their butts slapped, and how they just accepted it and danced with them.

Then one of the guys said, “He didn’t have any self-respect.”

 

And I found that really interesting. Because when it comes to women — if a woman sleeps around with men who don’t treat her right, we often say the same thing: “She doesn’t have self-respect.”

The Truth About Green-Flag Men

Men who are centered — no matter their relationship with intimacy — hype other women up. They don’t put you on a golden pedestal like toxic men do. They don’t have those traits that keep you addicted.

 

So yeah, you might feel bored at first.

You might feel competition.

You might not even like the guy — if you’re the kind of girl who needs attention to feel valued.

 

So girls say, “If you want a guy who’s good for you, know this…” There’s a catch.

 

Because green-flag men will call you out on your bullshit. They’ll put a mirror in your face. They’ll ask why you ever accepted the bare minimum. They’ll question the people you allowed into your life. And not out of ego — but because they see your truth.

 

And only if you’re confident in who you are as a person will you not mind their honesty. You’ll actually crave it.

Unintentional Pick-Me Girl

I used to attract men who weren’t really great, or who put me on a pedestal while never hyping other women up. Even though I wanted men who uplift other girls and treat everyone with respect, unconsciously I didn’t want it — because being “chosen” made me feel special.

 

Then I had a moment with a guy where I realized I wanted to break that pattern. And I did — through meditation and becoming more aware of myself.

 

Now I’m very curious what kind of men I’m going to attract, because I feel like I’m slowly starting to live a soulful life — the life I always wanted.

My Take on Hookup Culture”

It’s interesting how there’s this expectation that if you give your body away, you’re asking to be mistreated — or that you’re not supposed to talk about your feelings afterward. Like, not even a little bit of depth. I find that strange.

 

You’re giving someone access to your body. You’re doing something intimate — and somehow, basic respect only comes if there’s a label attached? That doesn’t make sense.

 

What people do with their bodies shouldn’t determine whether they deserve kindness.

 

It’s like this: imagine someone smokes, and you take their cigarette without asking — and then blame them for smoking in the first place. Like, “Well, you shouldn’t have smoked.” But then you light one yourself. See where I’m going with this?

 

Being condescending about someone’s choices says more about you than about them. My friends call that small-dick energy — when men pretend to care about women just to get in their pants.